Are you being honest with yourself?

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Are you honest with yourself - this is not an everyday question, yet it is justified, because honesty starts with and within yourself if you want to be honest with others.

Honesty is considered one of the most important virtues in human interaction. While it is often easier to be honest with others, the question arises as to whether we are really honest with ourselves.

Self-deception, repression or glossing over thoughts can lead to us not recognizing or accepting our true motives, mistakes or fears. But only those who are honest with themselves can lead a truly fulfilled life.

The Bible provides valuable insights into why self-truth is so crucial and the consequences of dishonesty.

Psychology is also intensively investigating how self-deception, which is too often practiced, works and how it affects personal well-being.

Honesty - with yourself

Being honest with yourself is truly a challenge! Many people tend to see themselves in a better light or suppress uncomfortable truths. This happens out of fear of consequences, pride or a distorted self-image.

The Bible warns in Jeremiah 17:9 „The heart is exceedingly deceitful and malicious; who can fathom it?" and at the same time calls for help, as it were, "who can fathom it"?„

You and other people often fail miserably here, even psychologists and psychiatrists. Therefore, the only one who can help here is God. So it says in Psalm 139:23-24 „Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know what I mean; and see if I am in the evil way, and guide me in the way everlasting.„

Psychology has long shown that people often use cognitive distortions to present themselves in a better light or to avoid unpleasant realities.
The so-called Confirmation error (Confirmation bias) describes the tendency to only accept information that supports one's own point of view while ignoring contradictory facts.
Repression is another defense mechanism by which stressful thoughts or memories are pushed out of consciousness in order to avoid emotional pain.

Self-deception and its consequences

If we are not honest with ourselves, it can have long-term negative effects. It prevents personal growth, hinders relationships and can even lead to spiritual blindness. Already in 1 John 1:8 can be read "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.„

The fact of self-deception is already Proverbs 16:2 "All the ways of man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD tests the spirits". If God did not exist as a testing authority, man would bask in his self-righteousness ...

Psychological research shows that chronic self-deception can lead to increased stress, inner turmoil and even mental illnesses such as anxiety disorders or depression. People who lie to themselves often experience cognitive dissonance, an unpleasant feeling that arises when thoughts, beliefs and actions do not match. Because deep down, everyone knows that they are deceiving themselves and that appearances do not correspond to reality.

Paths to honest self-reflection

How can we learn to be more honest with ourselves? The Bible provides people with some helpful principles.

God's word is an unmistakable mirror of ourselves. Hebrews 4:12 gives us the guidance to recognize our true intentions and not to deceive ourselves: "For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and it pierces until it divides both soul and spirit, both marrow and bone, and it is a judge of the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.„

Humility helps to be honest, to see oneself realistically, which is the prerequisite for growth, such as James 4:10 confirmed "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.“.

Proverbs 27:17 provides further assistance "Iron sharpens iron; likewise one man sharpens another." and advises self-reflection with the help of honest feedback from third parties in order to correct the distorted self-image and recognize blind spots.

Excursus - The unfulfilled dream

A dedicated young woman who knew from an early age that she wanted to become an artist, as she had already loved painting and drawing as a child and her teachers had attested to her great talent. But as she grew older, she began to doubt her dream. Her parents advised her to choose a "safe" profession, her friends laughed at the idea of earning money with art, and so she finally decided to study business administration.

Years passed and she worked for a large company. She earned well, had security and prestige, but inside she felt empty. She went to the office every morning with reluctance, every day seemed the same and she asked herself more and more often whether this was really the life she wanted to lead. But she convinced herself - successfully at first - that she should be happy. After all, she had everything she could wish for: a steady job, a good salary, colleagues who respected her, several vacations a year - who had that?

But deep down, Lisa knew that she wasn't being honest with herself. She suppressed her longing for creativity and sought distraction. Long working hours, shopping and marathon series in the evening helped her to do this. She told herself that her dissatisfaction was just a phase, that she simply needed to be more grateful. But the feeling of inner emptiness remained.

One day she was talking to an old school friend who had realized her dream and was working as a photographer. The friend asked: "Are you really happy? Or are you just telling yourself that you're happy?" These words hit her right in the heart. For the first time, she could no longer avoid them. She realized that she had been lying to herself for years, out of fear of insecurity, of change, of the judgment of others.

It is precisely this situation that the psalmist describes in Psalm 139:23-24 „Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know what I mean; and see if I am in the evil way, and guide me in the way everlasting.„

Now she began to deal honestly with her feelings. She asked herself the question: What would I do if I wasn't afraid? After much thought and many prayers, she decided to attend a painting course, of course ... just as a hobby, - or so she thought at first. But with every picture she painted, she felt her old passion returning.

A year later, she dared to switch her job to part-time and sell art on the side. It wasn't easy, and sometimes she was overcome with doubt. But she now knew: being honest with yourself doesn't mean that the path is easy, but you can walk it with all your heart.

Conclusion

Being honest with yourself is a lifelong challenge, but also a necessary prerequisite for spiritual growth, personal integrity and true contentment.

The Bible encourages us to examine our hearts before God and to accept truth, even if it is uncomfortable. Those who live in honesty experience true freedom, because Jesus says in John 8:32 „and you will recognize the truth, and the truth will set you free!„

Ultimately, being honest with yourself is the key to an authentic and God-pleasing life. A realistic self-perception is essential for mental health and inner contentment. Those who face up to the truth can act more consciously, develop further and grow both spiritually and psychologically.